Dear Eva.
I don't have so many pictures of you.
So here I will tell you something about what your
mother did before you came along and saved her life.  



When your mom met me I was hanging out with the homeless. She felt bad for me and since she herself was so poor that she could almost have robbed somebody,  she hung this sign over her door saying that travelers with many checks were welcome. That is how we made friends, but I kept staying in my car because I worried about my travelers checks. 





Sometimes when she felt I got too lonely in my car, she came down to play in it. That way I didn't feel so sad and lonely. She was always good at cheering me up.




Since I kept staying in my car she would have her house full of pictures of me.
That was because she had a very big heart for the homeless.....or at least wanted to show her friends how much she was doing for the people on the street.  I even had a key to her house so I could use the toilet.....although she always complained about how smelly I was ......and tried to toilet train both her cat and us homeless.





Here you see her during one of the many lessons she gave me in toilet training.
I tried the best I could to learn her ways. Therefore I couldn't understand why she always ran screaming away from the house whenever she came home and saw my toilet seat.





Another reason I fled down into my car all the time was that she was always doing weird exercises so I couldn't sleep there.





It took me a very long time before I invited my family over to meet your mom.
I was too embarrassed that they would think I had moved into an insane asylum.
But actually my daughter didn't mind it too much and was a lot faster in learning Chinese hygiene than me.......and that people in China are all upside down...






This picture I took on the day your mom's cat Helga graduated and received its diploma for being the first cat to be actually sitting on a human toilet seat.
The cat was quite proud, as you see, but also quite dizzy after months of spanking for falling off the seat. 





When Helga had become toilet trained we were ready to move up in the world. Raymond said: "Come and stay in my house."  It was nice for all of us to move up there, but Raymond quickly discovered that Helga was not doing much better than me when it came to cleanliness. Your mom didn't know what to do and is a little depressed about it as you see here.





When Raymond saw how sad she was, he gave her roses and said: "Ok, since Jacob and Helga are not "clean" we will just have to get an outhouse for them."
And then he rented the apartment below and Chris was very happy, as you see here, because she now had an outhouse for her two old companions from the street. And so everybody was happy!




Except that now I again cannot sleep very well because your mom comes down and uses the computer - sometimes all night. And not only that, but when she finds something funny on the Internet, she sits and laughs - extremely loud. Really, Eva, it is not very easy for us homeless to see how much fun life is on the inside.
But many people like your mom also have problems because they sit so much at the computer. Just look here how your mom's eyes gets blown out.....
while she now again sits at the computer to read my silly pages.





In the end she is going to have green eyes from sitting there

writing e-mail jokes to the whole world all day long.....

Since I love all those e-mails, I am sending you this one now
for yours and your mom's birthdays.




Even though she does noting but write e-mails all day long, she gets so hungry that already before noon she usually orders pizza or Ethiopian food to be delivered.
She can't understand that I am not hungry that early - mainly because I have spent all night eating the leftovers from your dinner table the night before. 
But the worst thing I know is when she sends me out in minus 40 degree snowstorms in the middle of the night to bring her strawberry shortcake with whipped cream all the way from that fancy restaurant on Broadway.




But even though she sometimes can be a witch like that, she has always been so much fun that I bear over with her. Don't you think her hair here looks just like witch hair?





And I know that you think she is a lot of fun too, Eva. Look how she took you out dancing from the very beginning. Can you see yourself in this picture with Rya?
All three of you are dancing here. If you can't see yourself, it is because you are dancing inside her stomach.





And here you learn very early in life to sing. If you grow up as a good entertainer you now know where you had it all from.




So Christina is a true gift to the world and therefore has very, very many friends. I think she will always be my friend just as you now will, Eva. Christina has so many wonderful talents - just look on these pages how she trained me as a graphic designer..... (I hope I am doing a bit better than what came out of her toilet training). 
I have always said to your mom that she should forget all about a career in graphic design and instead only do what she was meant to do - to bring all us others her joy and gift of life.






Here you see an example of Chris - the people mover and entertainer. Yes, she is constantly changing hats. On that particular day she was thinking of joining the marines to go and fight for freedom and liberty. But I know she has second thoughts today on your birthday. For right this moment as you read these lines, you should just have come back inside from the huge worldwide demonstrations against war. Isn't it fun that we were doing something together today. For I was out demonstrating here in Copenhagen. 






So actually you went out with your uncle Jacob today to give uncle Sam the finger. That is because if we get war we cannot really enjoy our birthday cakes so well.  Even your moms strawberry shortcakes might taste strange then.


With love from your uncle Jacob


I am sorry, Eva, but this is the way your mom always dresses me up when we go out. So on your birthday I did not dare to show up in my own old rags. Between you and me, let's just call it my "Eva costume."


Continue here with the summer party in Soglio


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